Browsing All Posts filed under »psychology«

Emotions are expensive.

March 10, 2020


Binging. Splurging. Compensating. To hell with it. Wanna save money? Put your frontal cortex in charge of your budget, not your amygdala.

Our brains are not able to keep up with our minds.

June 10, 2019


The speed at which our technological and philosophical innovations are transforming our selves and our environments is happening faster than the speed at which our biology can augment and adjust itself to the new environments. In other words, our brains are not able to keep up with our minds.

“The whole trick in life is to get so that your own brain doesn’t mislead you.”

December 27, 2018


Quote by Charlie Munger. If I could reword it, “The whole trick in life is to not be misled by your own brain.”

The opposite of fear is not courage, but curiosity.

December 17, 2018


Curiosity is also the opposite of shame. Fear and shame operate in the limbic system, the more primal engines of our neurology. Curiosity operates in the frontal cortex, the more recent and analytical aspects of our neurology. Fear solicits a problem responding module, the “fight, flight, or faint” system. Curiosity invokes a problem solving module. Courage can […]

A successful relationship is not due to compatibility, but adaptability.

November 2, 2018


The underlying belief “compatibility” is that there are innate, unchangeable aspects of our being that are fundamentally unsuited to be in relationship with other innate, unchangeable aspects of another person. This is a myth. It is also believed that “who we are” is who we will always be throughout our lives. This too, is a myth. And […]

The 36 Questions That Lead to Love

September 3, 2017


The 36 Questions That Lead to Love Based upon The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness, A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings. Set I Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest? Would you like to be famous? In what way? Before making a telephone call, do you ever […]

Understanding the difference between “problems” and “symptoms” is the most pervasive and pernicious of human challenges, and the pathway toward finding solutions.

February 3, 2017


You’ve heard many people say, “We have a problem.” But what they are really pointing to is a “symptom.” If you continue to do that, you’ll never understand “the problem,” and you’ll deploy “solutions” that are a waste, and actually make the problem worse. To understand the difference between “problems” and “symptoms” requires leveraging wisdom […]

Stress is experienced when demands exceed resources.

February 3, 2017


Stress is a condition or feeling experienced when a person perceives that “demands exceed the personal and social resources the individual is able to mobilize.” In less formal terms, we feel stressed when we feel that “things are out of control”. A healthy response to stress, then, is to focus on decreasing demands, or increasing […]

A mature person is someone who is not easily offended.

February 3, 2017


offended |əˈfendəd| : “resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.” mature |məˈCHo͝or| : something has “fully developed” or has “reached an advanced stage of mental or emotional development.” Therefore, someone who is easily offended means that they have not reached a level of mental or emotional development capable of understanding that […]

Love is safer than fear.

February 1, 2017


Throughout history, humanity has dealt with one big daunting question, What do I do with the “other?” Given that the fear center of our brain (the limbic system) is designed to protect us and keep us safe, and that it is the most primitive of our faculties, humans’ first — and seemingly reasonable — impulse, […]

Groupthink makes the mind stink.

September 26, 2015


Irving Janis, author of Victims of Groupthink: A Psychological Study of Foreign-Policy Decisions and Fiascoes, has defined group think as, the deterioration of mental efficiency, reality testing, and moral judgment that results from in-group pressures. (p.9) There are several common characteristics that emerge from groupthink: The Illusion of Invulnerability. Group members collectively believe they are […]

We only judge in areas where we are deeply vulnerable to shame.

September 24, 2015


When someone passes judgment on another, it is often done to “rank order” the other person against oneself. It is a measurement we make to position ourselves. And we do so, not necessarily because we think so low of the other, but because we are vulnerable to shame in that very area in which we […]

Use the phrase, “I decided…”

February 11, 2015


There is a choice in every choice. This choice could make a radical difference in life outcomes. That choice is to view your activity as a matter of consequence or as a matter of free will. This is not about the thing itself, but rather how one describes the thing. This is also the difference […]

Be ridiculously optimistic. We have a glass.

March 22, 2014


In the great debate between “half-empty” vs. “half-full,” we seem to have missed the fact that we have a glass. Checkmate, pessimists. #optimistswin

Abstinence is not merely the avoidance of an activity. It is the discipline to not be mastered by the temptation.

December 6, 2013


Too often the term “abstinence” refers only to the external physical behavior. We must elevate this term and its cognates to something much richer, much deeper, and much more empowering. Mere avoidant passivity is incomplete and uninspiring. True abstinence requires an active self-regulatory grit, an inner strength … guts.