There is a choice in every choice. This choice could make a radical difference in life outcomes. That choice is to view your activity as a matter of consequence or as a matter of free will. This is not about the thing itself, but rather how one describes the thing. This is also the difference between seeing yourself as a victim, or as a commander of your own fate.
To see your life as a matter of consequence is to be emasculated. To see your life as a matter of choice is to be empowered. Consequence is fatalistic. Choice is limitlessly creative.
Could one radically change from a “consequential” perspective to a “chosen” perspective? Yes. How? Let us not start with a change in attitude, but rather with a change in vocabulary.
In everyday speak, the language of “I have/had…” is a matter of consequence. Replace that language with the phrase, “I decided…” and see what happens. Rather than, “I have to do the dishes,” say, “I decided to clean, prepare for the next meal, because I’m caring for my family.” Rather than, “I have to be at this appointment,” say, “I decided to make commitments and stick with them because of my integrity, and because of what these appointments will accomplish.” Rather than, “I have too much to do,” say, “I decided to overload myself.” Rather than, “I have no other choice,” say, “I decided to cease creating options.” Once you shift to “I decided,” the world opens up to endless possibilities.
Feel empowered yet?!
viamuse 